Another C-Scum Disappointment

It wasn't too long ago that I was waxing pointedly about a certain member of the C-Club who had disappointed everyone by his extra-marital Olympics (sorry to sully that great organization) with any woman possessing a pulse.  The C-Club issued a statement last weekend saying players caught in the same predicament would be fined heavily and scorned publicly...so it's a mere few days later and one Ashley Cole (sounds like a bedspread company...ironically enough) who has the nickname of  "Cashley" Cole, for his willingness to follow a better amount of money to another team, has been booted from his home in Oxshott, Surrey (fittingly called, Hurtmore House...I'm not making this up) by his pop-star wife, Cheryl Cole.  It seems that the Cash has been a very bad boy just like teammate and neighbor, John Terry.  The tally of scores is now at 5.  He is well under the Tiger Woods record, but the press has just grabbed ahold of this so we might be looking at more gals wanting their 15 minutes of whore infamy.
The naughty boy is currently nursing a broken ankle suffered in a match two weeks ago and he's sure to be hurtin' in the buttocks region when his wallet gets done over by Cheryl's solicitors.
I have to give Cheryl credit.  She differs from the "I'll do anything you say, John, because I have no money-making skills of my own, and especially the Armani-affording kind" Mrs. Terry who took her man back in a most-public and disgusting display of phonyness...*cue Endless Love* romping on the beach hand in hand *My love...there's only you in my life* canoodling by the pool with their twins *the only thing that's bright* a gentle kiss...*tires screeching*...enough of the tired and predictable music video.
In case you haven't heard, the soon-to-be-ex Mrs. Cole is one of the girlband, Girls Aloud.  She is very successful in the UK (only a blip here in the States), and she is also a judge with Simon Cowell on Britain's Got Talent.  So she doesn't need any of the Cashley's money, and she certainly doesn't need the fame.
The Cole got caught because he sent obscene text messages replete with nude pix of his body to a porn star.  So it was fitting that Cheryl dumped him by text message (sound familiar, Rosey?).  I have no proof of it, but this is probably what it said:
DEAR *&!#LEY
I BRK UP WID U
HIT DA ROAD

Now before you think I'm biased against the C-Club (although I am), I can't say that Cheryl isn't at fault here as well.  No one knows what goes on behind the doors of the swanky nouveau-riche abodes of the footy-gifted, and Cheryl has waxed idiotic in the past...especially this beauty:
"I was 15 when I lost my virginity, but I made my boyfriend wait three months, so I am really proud of myself for that.” *Church Lady scowl*

The Hobbling One has pronounced all of this bidness as a "witch hunt." *dramatic pause* Obviously he never read The Crucible (or any other play for that matter) and fashions himself as a modern-day Goody Proctor; burning at the stake for allegedly conjurin' with Tituba and sending spirits after Abigail Williams.  Although a literary stretch, perhaps this tale of marital dread is a 2010 version of Arthur Miller's slant on the McCarthy era.  Lies lies everywhere.  Of course the lies are all coming from one source in this 5-Act play...and not from a girl named Abigail...but one named Ashley.

As previously noted, it is my policy not to post photos of C-Club members (including Ashley), unless in this form:

:)

I've tired of this run-on disaster that is the C-Club...so to quote Monty Python...

"And now for something completely different."