18 December, 2010

A Busy Few Weeks

So many things have happened in the last few weeks in the footy world and I've been absent from my blog duties...apologies.

Managers in the EPL are dropping like flies.  First Chris Hughton was unceremoniously dumped from Newcastle, followed closely by "Big Sam" Allardyce at Blackburn.  Both cases have glaring similarities, not the least of which is their owners are mental numpties.  To make it worse, players from both teams were shocked by the dismissals, and generally ticked off at the timing.
Hughton and Allardyce were well-liked and respected by their players and fans.  So why the sudden change?  Toon's owner, Mike Ashley, has not exactly been popular with the fans.  Big Sam's former bosses are...well...hmmmm....hard to describe.  The "Chicken Nuggets" as they are referred to in the British press, cut off poor Sam's head before he had time to roost.  At first they said that hovering midtable would be fine for them, but now they say the reason for dumping Sam was "a top four finish."  hahahahahahahahahahaha.  Right.  Good luck with that.
Avram Grant at West Ham (bottom of the table) has supposedly been given a three-game "git er done" edict from boss Karren Brady or he will be gone.  Roberto Mancini (Man Poo), Roy Hodgson (Liverpoo) and Carlo Ancelotti (Chelskipoo) have all been rumored to be walking a tightrope at their clubs.  Only time will tell.


Finger-lickin' idiots (Blackburn owners)

Apparently, Iker Casillas and Cristiano do not like each other.  According to a Spanish radio station, several strange interviews from RM players, and newspaper articles, the two had a falling out in September when Iker's girlfriend/"sports reporter" Sara Carbonero (Pastasauce to the kickette crowd) made a shocking revelation on Italian TV that Cristiano was not well-liked in the locker room at RM and that he was a "selfish player," and "egotistical."  Hmmmm...what RM player isn't?  Obviously Pastasauce (or Sarinara as I call her) should keep her mouth shut, and while we're at it...quit her job because the only reason she's been given it is due to her tight clothes and Cleopatra makeup.  I find it hard to look at her without thinking she should be standing in a Valley of the Kings tomb.
Frankly, I believe it's true based on the constant facial expression modeled by Iker in goal.  He thinks he is God's gift to footy and should be the darling of Spain.  With a certain Portuguese winger taking all his press and having the audacity to score goals to help his team win, I'm sure poor Iker's ego has taken a bruising (much like Barcelona did to him in their 5 goal dismissal).  So, he has his girlfriend get a blanket and send out some smoke signals... CRIS-TIANO...HAS....NO....FRIENDS. 
I'm not sure what Sarinara and Casillas have up their sleeves, but it can't be good for his club.


Deadeyes Sarinara (left) and her makeup inspiration in the Valley of the Kings


Iker and Sarinara released their Christmas card this week

Carlos Trollvez Tevez has gone completely mental.  I know, I know...you're saying, "but she's already said that before."  Well, this time it's for real.  His latest antic of turning in a transfer request to Man Shite has pretty much secured his entry into the EPL looney bin.
I won't get bogged down in the details, but according to the troll, "promises were not kept" by chief financial officer Garry Cook.  Is it me, or does this mook cause problems at every club he plays?
Whatever the reason conjuring in his tiny brain, one thing is for sure...the Man Poo execs are not happy.  He is the highest paid player on the team, was given the captaincy (big mistake, he's not a leader), yet he still can't find happiness at all.
The Daily Mail's Des Kelly made me hoot with laughter on his take of the conTROLLversy:
The last time I heard Carlos Tevez speak he was with the then Argentina manager Diego Maradona in a private box at Old Trafford. Naturally, they were chatting in Spanish.  Tevez was obviously unhappy at being left on the bench, but since they didn’t mention beer, grilled prawns or ask one another for the bill, my vocabulary was pretty much exhausted after the first handshake.  I sat there feigning understanding as they chatted, hoping I wasn’t nodding in empathy as they discussed troublesome piles or erectile dysfunction.
This language problem sprung to mind when it was announced this week that Tevez’s relationship with an executive at Manchester City had broken down.  Even at its best, Tevez’s English is on a par with my Spanish, so it was hard to establish how this breakdown could happen unless it was through the medium of mime.  Moreover, the last time I looked at the Wikipedia page of the City chief executive Garry Cook it described him as ‘a time traveller who plays golf with Bananaman, spearheaded a bid for Pele and invented the colour yellow’.  But even the online vandals mocking his brash boasting didn’t dare to claim anything as outlandish as the idea that Cook was fluent in Spanish. English can be challenging enough for him.
So who’s upset with whom? And what is it really about?
Tevez wants for nothing. He is on £280,000 a week, disappears for mini-breaks at regular intervals, was somehow given the club captaincy (possibly in a raffle), has traded his club car for a sedan chair carried by Filipino maids and wears snoods heated by the breath of unicorns.  But he complains he is tired, homesick, upset with greedy players and is now furious about an unspecified ‘broken promise’. It sounds like another breakdown in communication.  Here’s how it will pan out. It will be resolved for a short time. He’ll probably score against Everton on Monday night.  And then, judging by his track record, Tevez will find something else to moan about. The lad just has an uncanny knack of finding excuses for not enjoying playing football for a living. [end quote]
Hahaha...couldn't agree more, Des.

The UK needs snow removal...pronto!  More fixtures were cancelled today (4) and another was cancelled for tomorrow (albeit suspiciously).  With Mother Nature ravaging the Isles, the locals are finding it hard to cope with the white stuff.  It seems a few inches (and fewer) can cause the entire country to grind to a halt.
One footy fixture that was cancelled (a full 24 hours before it was scheduled to be played) was Chelski vs Man United.  The Chelski fools (in a vain attempt to postpone their loss) said that the fans would be in danger (whatever) and that the police had agreed with them.  It's curious since other matches (from Championship sides with so-so pitches) managed to play today, and Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp was suspect in Chelski's motives for calling it off a full day before they knew what the weather would be on Sunday.  I think Reds fans know the reason.


Apparently this much snow constitutes a national disaster (Arsenal's pitch today)

United have gone top while we say farewell to a hero!  Yes, the Reds secured top spot last Monday night against Arsenal at Old Trafford.  The game wasn't much to ballyhoo about and the Reds secured a 1-0 win thanks to the head of Ji-Sung Park.  United still have a game in hand, and after Chelski's rush to judgment over the weather conditions, will now have another one on several clubs.
In a touching sendoff, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer said his final farewell to the Reds faithful on Monday as he will be moving to Norway with his family to take over the managerial duties for FK Molde (his previous club).  It is a bittersweet moment for many people.  Ole is a class act through and through and no doubt everyone involved with United will wish him well.  He did say that they are keeping their house here because you just don't know what the future will bring and they might return.  To see the complete interview with Ole, click on this link to manutd.com.

Some pics for the week:


Jose Mourinho took it from Barca (left), then UEFA (but then UEFA caved like the incompetent clowns they are)


Hahaha...I'm not a Messi fan but I thought this was funny


Ji-Sung PARKing us at the top!  Nani approves!


Very brave men:  Chilean miners who were trapped underground for two months were treated to a United win over Arsenal on Monday night.  Sir Bobby Charlton (who's the son of a miner) invited them to Old Trafford and is pictured in the center.  Class act, United is!

Old mates David Beckham and Gary Neville took in the Arsenal match, and were obviously reminiscing about the old days.


David was wearing wool all over, including his face. :)

And that concludes the blog for this week...I promise not to be absent for as long this time.
 

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