A Busy Few Weeks

So many things have happened in the last few weeks in the footy world and I've been absent from my blog duties...apologies.

Managers in the EPL are dropping like flies.  First Chris Hughton was unceremoniously dumped from Newcastle, followed closely by "Big Sam" Allardyce at Blackburn.  Both cases have glaring similarities, not the least of which is their owners are mental numpties.  To make it worse, players from both teams were shocked by the dismissals, and generally ticked off at the timing.
Hughton and Allardyce were well-liked and respected by their players and fans.  So why the sudden change?  Toon's owner, Mike Ashley, has not exactly been popular with the fans.  Big Sam's former bosses are...well...hmmmm....hard to describe.  The "Chicken Nuggets" as they are referred to in the British press, cut off poor Sam's head before he had time to roost.  At first they said that hovering midtable would be fine for them, but now they say the reason for dumping Sam was "a top four finish."  hahahahahahahahahahaha.  Right.  Good luck with that.
Avram Grant at West Ham (bottom of the table) has supposedly been given a three-game "git er done" edict from boss Karren Brady or he will be gone.  Roberto Mancini (Man Poo), Roy Hodgson (Liverpoo) and Carlo Ancelotti (Chelskipoo) have all been rumored to be walking a tightrope at their clubs.  Only time will tell.

Finger-lickin' idiots (Blackburn owners)

Apparently, Iker Casillas and Cristiano do not like each other.  According to a Spanish radio station, several strange interviews from RM players, and newspaper articles, the two had a falling out in September when Iker's girlfriend/"sports reporter" Sara Carbonero (Pastasauce to the kickette crowd) made a shocking revelation on Italian TV that Cristiano was not well-liked in the locker room at RM and that he was a "selfish player," and "egotistical."  Hmmmm...what RM player isn't?  Obviously Pastasauce (or Sarinara as I call her) should keep her mouth shut, and while we're at it...quit her job because the only reason she's been given it is due to her tight clothes and Cleopatra makeup.  I find it hard to look at her without thinking she should be standing in a Valley of the Kings tomb.
Frankly, I believe it's true based on the constant facial expression modeled by Iker in goal.  He thinks he is God's gift to footy and should be the darling of Spain.  With a certain Portuguese winger taking all his press and having the audacity to score goals to help his team win, I'm sure poor Iker's ego has taken a bruising (much like Barcelona did to him in their 5 goal dismissal).  So, he has his girlfriend get a blanket and send out some smoke signals... CRIS-TIANO...HAS....NO....FRIENDS. 
I'm not sure what Sarinara and Casillas have up their sleeves, but it can't be good for his club.

Deadeyes Sarinara (left) and her makeup inspiration in the Valley of the Kings

Iker and Sarinara released their Christmas card this week

Carlos Trollvez Tevez has gone completely mental.  I know, I know...you're saying, "but she's already said that before."  Well, this time it's for real.  His latest antic of turning in a transfer request to Man Shite has pretty much secured his entry into the EPL looney bin.
I won't get bogged down in the details, but according to the troll, "promises were not kept" by chief financial officer Garry Cook.  Is it me, or does this mook cause problems at every club he plays?
Whatever the reason conjuring in his tiny brain, one thing is for sure...the Man Poo execs are not happy.  He is the highest paid player on the team, was given the captaincy (big mistake, he's not a leader), yet he still can't find happiness at all.
The Daily Mail's Des Kelly made me hoot with laughter on his take of the conTROLLversy:
The last time I heard Carlos Tevez speak he was with the then Argentina manager Diego Maradona in a private box at Old Trafford. Naturally, they were chatting in Spanish.  Tevez was obviously unhappy at being left on the bench, but since they didn’t mention beer, grilled prawns or ask one another for the bill, my vocabulary was pretty much exhausted after the first handshake.  I sat there feigning understanding as they chatted, hoping I wasn’t nodding in empathy as they discussed troublesome piles or erectile dysfunction.
This language problem sprung to mind when it was announced this week that Tevez’s relationship with an executive at Manchester City had broken down.  Even at its best, Tevez’s English is on a par with my Spanish, so it was hard to establish how this breakdown could happen unless it was through the medium of mime.  Moreover, the last time I looked at the Wikipedia page of the City chief executive Garry Cook it described him as ‘a time traveller who plays golf with Bananaman, spearheaded a bid for Pele and invented the colour yellow’.  But even the online vandals mocking his brash boasting didn’t dare to claim anything as outlandish as the idea that Cook was fluent in Spanish. English can be challenging enough for him.
So who’s upset with whom? And what is it really about?
Tevez wants for nothing. He is on £280,000 a week, disappears for mini-breaks at regular intervals, was somehow given the club captaincy (possibly in a raffle), has traded his club car for a sedan chair carried by Filipino maids and wears snoods heated by the breath of unicorns.  But he complains he is tired, homesick, upset with greedy players and is now furious about an unspecified ‘broken promise’. It sounds like another breakdown in communication.  Here’s how it will pan out. It will be resolved for a short time. He’ll probably score against Everton on Monday night.  And then, judging by his track record, Tevez will find something else to moan about. The lad just has an uncanny knack of finding excuses for not enjoying playing football for a living. [end quote]
Hahaha...couldn't agree more, Des.

The UK needs snow removal...pronto!  More fixtures were cancelled today (4) and another was cancelled for tomorrow (albeit suspiciously).  With Mother Nature ravaging the Isles, the locals are finding it hard to cope with the white stuff.  It seems a few inches (and fewer) can cause the entire country to grind to a halt.
One footy fixture that was cancelled (a full 24 hours before it was scheduled to be played) was Chelski vs Man United.  The Chelski fools (in a vain attempt to postpone their loss) said that the fans would be in danger (whatever) and that the police had agreed with them.  It's curious since other matches (from Championship sides with so-so pitches) managed to play today, and Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp was suspect in Chelski's motives for calling it off a full day before they knew what the weather would be on Sunday.  I think Reds fans know the reason.

Apparently this much snow constitutes a national disaster (Arsenal's pitch today)

United have gone top while we say farewell to a hero!  Yes, the Reds secured top spot last Monday night against Arsenal at Old Trafford.  The game wasn't much to ballyhoo about and the Reds secured a 1-0 win thanks to the head of Ji-Sung Park.  United still have a game in hand, and after Chelski's rush to judgment over the weather conditions, will now have another one on several clubs.
In a touching sendoff, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer said his final farewell to the Reds faithful on Monday as he will be moving to Norway with his family to take over the managerial duties for FK Molde (his previous club).  It is a bittersweet moment for many people.  Ole is a class act through and through and no doubt everyone involved with United will wish him well.  He did say that they are keeping their house here because you just don't know what the future will bring and they might return.  To see the complete interview with Ole, click on this link to manutd.com.

Some pics for the week:

Jose Mourinho took it from Barca (left), then UEFA (but then UEFA caved like the incompetent clowns they are)

Hahaha...I'm not a Messi fan but I thought this was funny

Ji-Sung PARKing us at the top!  Nani approves!

Very brave men:  Chilean miners who were trapped underground for two months were treated to a United win over Arsenal on Monday night.  Sir Bobby Charlton (who's the son of a miner) invited them to Old Trafford and is pictured in the center.  Class act, United is!

Old mates David Beckham and Gary Neville took in the Arsenal match, and were obviously reminiscing about the old days.

David was wearing wool all over, including his face. :)

And that concludes the blog for this week...I promise not to be absent for as long this time.

 

Man Pooo's De Jong; Liverpooo in the Toilet; Trollvez Misses His Mum

What's De Wrong with my playing style?

Nigel De Jong, full-time pit bull for Man Poooo, part-time hack for Holland.  If you don't believe me then look at his tackle on Newcastle's Hatem Ben Arfa (on loan from Ligue 1 Marseilles).  And then look at his ankle breaker against the USA's Stuart Holden in March (no foul given).  And few can forget his karate kick on Xabi Alonso in the World Cup final. 
Ben Arfa left the pitch with a broken tib/fib.  Referee Martin Atkinson didn't even give De Jong a card, and told Ben Arfa to "get up" after the foul.  Of course he couldn't "get up" as his leg was broken.
Many have called for De Jong to be banned for a long period of time, and the fact that he hasn't apologized to Ben Arfa yet shows he has no character at all.  Man Poooo sent a lame "sorry," along with some cheap gift to his hospital room. 
Marseilles, who loaned Ben Arfa to Newcastle, have now said they will seek legal action against De Jong.  Marseilles president Jean-Claude Dassier had strong words for the Man Poooo/Dutch hack:

''We will file a claim against De Jong. It's about getting rid of this type of individual from European grounds.''

Holland manager Bert van Marwijk dropped De Jong from this week's Euro clashes as punishment for the tackle (although it could theoretically be for the Holden, and Alonso hijinx as well).
Mark van Bommel, the Dutch captain, sprang to the defense of De Jong:

''Nigel is and remains one of us,'' he told AD Sportwereld. ''We find this all very frustrating. It's very unfortunate that he has broken the leg of an opponent twice in six months.  But I know Nigel as a sweet guy. He doesn't want to injure anyone but wants to win every match. That is his strength. Thanks to Nigel we reached the final of the World Cup. And now I hear people calling him a criminal. What a nonsense.''

Sweet guy?
Dutch legend Johann Cruyff was embarrassed by the physical play of his side in the World Cup final, fingering van Bommel and De Jong as two of the worst culprits.
My take?  How many players does he have to injure before someone does something about it?  They all can't be accidents.  Anyone looking at his tackles can say that he is reckless abandon personified.

ANFIELD IN ARREARS
This is a big mess, so I'll try to straighten it out for you.  Liverpoooo is in dire financial straits, and American owners Gillette and Hicks, don't want to sell the club unless they can take home more than they invested in the sinking club.
The Merseysiders are in the drop zone for the EPL, and they should be even lower if their first-half shenanigans against Sunderland had been overturned.  They didn't deserve a point from that match.
So...it goes without saying that the Liverpoooo board has been searching for a buyer.  First came an offer from a Chinese businessman, who couldn't seem to get the funds together (enough to satisfy Gillette and Hicks).  Then it seems a coup d'etat occurred in the boardroom, with Martin Broughton (assigned to the board by G and H to get the financial mess in order) finding another buyer and informing G and H that their services would no longer be needed.  Broughton brought in (haha) more Americans (gasps from the Liverpooo faithful could be heard on the Space Station), John W. Henry and NESV (New England Sports Ventures), owners of the Boston Red Sox.
G and H threatened to take this to court (which they did), claiming that they had the right to change the board's makeup, thus mooting the takeover bid.
Enter the bank.  The Royal Bank of Scotland will take over the club this week if the 230million GBP debt is not paid.  NESV assured that they would be willing to purchase the club from the bank if that were to happen.
Broughton mentioned to the media that "administration," which is a VERY BAD WORD in the EPL was not far off if the deal didn't go through.  Administration means that the EPL takes over the running of the club and then docks the team 9 points.  If that were to happen then Liverpooo would be at the bottom of the table with no hopes of staying away from relegation, unless a miracle happened and the Reds learned how to play footy.
Now Henry and NESV have informed the club that if G and H's wrangling is successful and the club falls into administration, that their deal will be off the table.
And what about the players and manager?  New-hire Roy Hodgson, who is probably wishing that he had stayed put at little ol' Fulham, was informed this week that a clause in his contract said that the new owners could replace him if they so wished.  Broughton assured him that the new owners wanted him, but Broughton is also the person that G and H inserted into the board, only for him to start a coup.  Given their current position in the table, I wouldn't hold my breath if I were Hodgson.
The players have been pretty silent.  Probably because they don't want to talk about their current form.  Pepe Reina spoke up today saying that the players needed to focus on playing and not involve themselves in the financial aspects of the club.  Well, Pepe, given that you had difficulty last year seeing the difference between a soccer ball and a beach ball, that comment is laughable.
No matter what happens...Liverpoooo is in the toilet, and somewhere Gary Neville is dancing.

I MISS ME MUM
I'm not sure when this Troll will ever close his mouth, but his latest quote is priceless:

"I have been playing many games this season, and my body is feeling it. I am tired," he said. "I started to play when I was really young and I have always fought so much but now I'm feeling the effort," he said. I'm an old guy now, and I started to think about some stuff.  For example, I am less tolerant as a person today than I was a few years ago. Then I think - what happens if I quit football as long as I am okay in my life? When I talk about quitting, I mean quitting football, not just the national team.  But at the moment I still don't know if this is going to be in one month, one year, three or five years. I have the idea of quitting in my mind. Maybe one of these days, I will just wake up and say no more football.  My family but also my body are starting to feel the effort. I have worked and fought so hard, and I would love to enjoy my football. I have been playing in England for five years, and I have not spent a single Christmas nor New Year with my family.
Let me tell you I am not enjoying the life of a footballer."

Dramatic pause.
Well let me tell you, we don't like seeing you, hearing you, or watching you play.  So retire already.  Go back to your Mum, and good luck trying to find a club in Argentina who will pay the overpriced wages you receive at Man Pooooo.  There are no Saudi Arabian sugar-daddies in Buenos Aires.
Old guy?  Ummmm...you're 26.  What about Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Rio Ferdinand, Edwin Van der Sar and any of the C-Scum starters...they're all over 30 (VDS will be 40 this year).  Wah wah wah wah.  One commenter from soccernet had great advice for you..."Tired?  Then stop running around the pitch like a chicken with your head cut off."  Haha...that person is obviously reading this blog!
I'm making an announcement...I am thinking about retirement.  I'm not sure if it will be in 15 years, 20 years, or 30 years.  But just in case you all care, I'm going to retire in the future. :)