15 September, 2010

The Ramblings of the MADridiot Hatter; Stop Whistling; The Unthinkable

THE RAMBLINGS OF THE MADridiot HATTER:
Jose Mourinho is at it again.  When his teams aren't playing up to snuff, his mouth becomes a sphincter muscle and he spews ridiculous comments.
Today's comments came from a press conference in which he spun a few yarns.
His first comment was this:
The expectations of the fans only mirrored the circus-like atmosphere that welcomed him to the Santiago Beezlebub.  The fans expected 94% commitment from Cristiano, which would mirror the garish amount of euros that purchased him.  When he failed to reach that number, they criticized.
"Too much focus was put onto Cristiano last season and, to his credit, the response he gave was magnificent, but the responsibility of my teams means we have a different attitude at this club now," believes Mourinho, whose legendary ability to make his players feel as special as he believes himself to be is already coming to the fore in his latest posting.

I can't tell you how many times I saw the word "I" and "My" in this article because I lost count at 750.  The self-ordained Minister of Special thinks of HIS teams as puppets in the ongoing saga of "How Much Attention Can I Garner for Myself?"...an up-til-now four-act play about his life.  First Act: Porto.  Second Act: Chelsea.  Third Act: Milan.  Fourth Act:  Madrid.  But we all know these first four Acts are only the precursor to his big finale, when he hopes to make the Fifth Act....Manchester.
"My philosophy has always been that we are a group, not individuals trying to win for ourselves. The group effort is more powerful than one star and this mentality worked well with my Porto team, my Chelsea team, my Inter Milan team."

Translation:  "If MY players would only play like Manchester United, then Cristiano would score more goals and we would win a trophy."
"The new players we have signed must stand up and make sure they do not wait for their team-mates to make the difference. A squad can only be successful if every part of the machine works and this is the aim at Real Madrid this season."

Translation:  I LOVE MANCHESTER UNITED AND WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING TO BE THE MANAGER THERE BECAUSE I LOVE THE PREMIER LEAGUE BUT CHELSKI FIRED ME.  PLEASE, SIR ALEX, PICK ME *hand waving wildly*
"Ferguson told me you cannot find a kid with a better attitude in training and working hard and this has been true as Cristiano has been fantastic since I came to Madrid."

Cristiano reached his peak in 2008. Sir Bobby Charlton was right when he said that "Cristiano will realize that his best football was played at United." That statement was true because his style of play was welcomed at United, and he was complemented by other players. At RM he is surrounded by others with Pichichi Fever...their egos get the better of them...perfect example being Higuain against Lyon when he tried to take on three defenders and the keeper at an impossible angle, all the while Cristiano was unmarked and staring at a 3/4 empty goal. Game over.
"Cristiano should begin to reach his peak in the next few years. It's exciting to believe he could improve from what he produced at United and with Real Madrid last season, but he knows it is possible. I have total belief in him."

Cristiano knows that the boat sailed on his individual achievements when he left United.  How he can play for the Special One is beyond me, considering the latter labeled the former a "diver" when he was at Chelsea, and also said he was an uneducated, overrated child.
So the idea of Cristiano just forgiving that is preposterous.  He made his bed when he left United and whatever ridiculousness that comes his way, including the advent of the Special One, he'll have to deal with.

STOP WHISTLING!!!!
As for the "fans" of Madrid, Cristiano sparked a controversy much like the one last year when he said the fans of Madrid should be more like the fans at United...supportive.  He once again has put his foot in his mouth (speaking the truth of course) when he criticized the fans for whistling at the team when they weren't playing well against Osasuna.

"We tried everything to play well, to put on a show but sometimes it is not possible. It is better that the public help you play better. The energy spent on whistling is the same they can take to encourage the team."


And now for the best part:
"In a moment's notice in Manchester, they would help wake us up. The players do not always play brilliantly, but occasionally they must excite the players."
Yes, Cristiano, the fans at United are the best.
Of course his new manager had to weigh in on Cristiano's criticism of the fans, and said "He wasn't criticizing you." 
Haha...yes he was.  They have never warmed to the man they call CR94 (for the euros spent on him), possibly because they know he left his heart in Manchester.

THE UNTHINKABLE:
Diego Maradona (Maradroga to his compatriots) has stated that he's interested in the vacant Portuguese National Team post after Carlos Queiroz was ousted during a witch hunt.  Can you imagine the stress on Cristiano as he deals with the crud in Madrid, and then contemplating the fact that he would have to play for the BIGGEST IDIOT IN THE WORLD OF FOOTY for his national team?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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