21 August, 2010

Premier League Roundup: August 21

Unlike the first week of the Premier League, the second week didn't have many surprises.  The bottomfeeders, newly promoted or not, always seem to make a statement early on and then slide to the bottom by the first quarter of the season.
Today, they began their slide early.

ARSENAL V BLACKPOOL  6-0
The Gunners, who narrowly drew with another "Pool" last week (Liverpool), had no problem with the Black variety today.  The Seasiders were probably a bit seasick after this match.  Hammered by the London club for 6 goals, they began the day with a +4 goal differential and ended it with a -2.  Not a great outing, although they showed some promise before Ian Evatt was sent off in the 30' after hauling down Marouane Chamakh at the edge of the box...last man, so penalty and red.  For a complete rundown of the match with photos and video of the goals, click here.

STOKE CITY V SPURS  1-2
New signing from Man City, Gareth Bale, scored both goals for Tottenham.  One a ricochet off his face, and the other a nice finish.  Last season Stoke had internal problems (with a reported nude manager having a bust-up in the team showers with a player), and Spurs were enigmatic.  Stoke can produce when they want to, but rarely seem to want to.  Spurs on the other hand can be brilliant one week and absolute poo the next.

EVERTON V WOLVES  1-1
I predict that both of these clubs will struggle this year.  Wolverhampton clawed their way out of relegation danger at the end of last season, but they have difficulty putting in consistent performances.  Winners last week, they managed a point against a lackluster Everton side.  The Merseysiders are missing their last-season talisman, Landon Donovan, plus a few key players who were sold this summer.  Their saving grace?  Tim Howard in goal.  He did have a clanger last week, but made up for it with a valiant display today.  The Wolves' equalizer in the 74' was class so he had no chance.  Ironically, both keepers today were Americans.  Marcus Hahnemann for Wolves also proved to be the star, and Cahill's goal just before the half was untouchable.
Everton was clobbered last week and only managed a point today.  Wolves did well last week and couldn't muster anything today.  I'm sure David Moyes (Everton) is begging to get Donovan back.

BIRMINGHAM CITY V BLACKBURN ROVERS  2-1
This kind of match is almost impossible to predict.  I know MINE was wrong.  I figured the Rovers might pull off an upset, but I was wrong.  Neither one of these teams piques my interest whatsoever...so let's move on.

WEST HAM UNITED V BOLTON WANDERERS  1-3
The Hammers are hurtin' all around.  The offpitch drama swirling around their front office and their business dealings has taken it's toll on the pitch.  And today Captain Matthew Upson almost lost his head as Kevin Davies punted his nose instead of the ball into the net.  As if his day-ending bloody nose weren't enough, he was credited with the own goal. 
As noted above, this isn't the first struggle for the Hammers.  After they lost a court tussle involving the transfer of Argentinian Troll Carlos Tevez, they have struggled to recover financially.  If they don't have the worst home record in the Prem League, they would have to be in the top three. 
Matthew Upson and old man Carlton Cole can't do it all themselves.  New-hire manager Avram Grant (formerly of Chelscum) can't either.  With Cole's missed penalty in the first half, one could hear the air being sucked completely out of Upton Park.  The precarious position of their bottom line will prevent them from acquiring any class talent that they need to be successful.  I predict that their stadium will be called "Downton Park" when they drop this year.
As for Bolton, they have spunk occasionally.  After drawing with an upper-midlister, Fulham, last week they "upped" (no pun intended) their play this week.  Hard to tell whether they can do this week-in and week-out.

WEST BROMWICH ALBION V SUNDERLAND  1-0
In a rather even match for both sides, the winner finally came in the 81' by an unexpected deliverer.  Completing his move from Lokomotiv Moscow fewer than 24 hours before, Peter Odemwingie broke his duck and left no doubt in the fans' minds that he was a great find!
West Brom, who are the perennial rollercoasters of the Prem League; we're promoted, we're relegated...etc.  had a few chances but couldn't capitalize.  The Baggies will find a tough time of it this year in the Prem League, as the difference between Top Four and Midlisters has lessened.  What this means for bottom-feeders like West Brom is that their season could be over by mid-season.

WIGAN V UNIDENTIFIED TEAM FROM LONDON
The Latics were busted for four goals last week vs Wolves, and today, they added to their goal differential.... -6.  They're sitting at the bottom with 0 points and a goal diff of -10.  -10 could also be the wind chill blowing through manager Roberto Martinez' trousers at the end of the season, if he lasts that long.  Making up one point in the Prem League can be impossible, making up 6 with a miserable goal diff is...well...somewhere in the odds range of 1,000-1.  The longshots of Cheshire are favored to drop this year.  Their performances (or lack thereof) in the past two weeks would give me no indication that the punters are incorrect.
Martinez can put stock in the fact that he did a fantastic job as an ESPN analyst for the World Cup this year.  That may be his permanent job in a few months.


Marouane Chamakh shows why he was HIGHLY-regarded by Arsene Wenger.

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