I can only assume the few who remain impressed by the so-called 'Milan Lab' also believe the beauticians working in the cosmetics section of department stores must be highly qualified intellectuals because they wear white laboratory coats.
Yes, behold the wondrous working of the Milan Lab, where players apparently defy the ageing process, avoid injury and extend their careers through 'the appliance of science'.
Injuries at AC Milan are reportedly down by 66 per cent. Judging by their Champions League performance at Old Trafford, it appears to be because they have decided to make 66 per cent less effort. How scientific of them.
'Age doesn't exist' say the pseudo quacks at the Italian club, which is quite right. It doesn't matter how old you are when you are out of the competition.
Jimmy Greaves is 70 and, like AC Milan, he won't win the European Cup this season either.
Yesterday, Milan's veteran players were back in their 'Lab', rubbing more snail serum into their muscles, being winched into a bath to treat their arthritis and taking the stairlift to their afternoon snooze in front of Il Countdownio.
Milan Lab? It's an old jokes' home.
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